Gary Roberts - Tribute

I saw the Pensblog did a little tribute to Gary Roberts - and thought - how fitting
So here is mine
Gary Roberts was/is a tough no-nonsense type player that's been around for a long time. He keeps himself in immaculate shape, explaining his long playing career.
But when he came to Pittsburgh, he became a part of pop culture - a demi god if you will.
Penguins fans were extremely fortunate to get a player like Roberts, and they really showed their appreciation:

Roberts is still very much revered around here, and hopefully he works his way back into the organization as a coach or something like that.

The way Tampa Bay forced him retire was very indicative of how their organization is run.

I could go on and on, but that would make it sound like a funeral...so enjoy some pics I found that exemplify the way he played.

Rozsival, you might as well go sit down before you are put down - for good

Would you want this coming at you - he looks like he wants to eat your heart

Uh oh - I hope that cameraman kissed his wife before he took this pic


the predator has its prey in sight

And then he goes in for the kill

This poor bastard got in Roberts way


With apologies to Chuck Norris:

Gary Roberts' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Gary Roberts is the reason Waldo is hiding.

The chief export of Gary Roberts is pain.

Gary Roberts recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Gary Roberts counted to infinity - twice - last week.

They once made a Gary Roberts toilet paper. It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Gary Roberts doesn't have a computer, just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.

Gary Roberts sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled penalty-killing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Roberts bodychecked the devil into the boards and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When Gary Roberts gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.

Gary Roberts once punched someone so hard that his fist broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

If you ask Gary Roberts what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he punches you in the face.

Gary Roberts doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Gary Roberts once taught a class called "Ass Kicking 101". There were no survivors.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Gary Roberts.
When Gary Roberts does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Gary Roberts does not sleep. He waits.


So long Mr Roberts - it's been a pleasure